For more posts involving Bill Walton, look here.Let me start with some background. At one time, I really liked Bill Walton. As I listened to him more and more, I began to dislike him very strongly as an announcer. However, my perspective has slowly begun to change again.
It all started when I was searching and came across a post from last year's playoffs where I mentioned Bill Walton:
While we're on the subject of announcers, I must admit I'm not a big fan of Bill Walton if he's in a 2-man team. However, the trio of Mike Tirico, Bill Walton, and Steve "Snapper" Jones is very enjoyable. Tirico is one of the best in the business at play-by-play, Walton throws in his great exaggerations, which are actually rather amusing ("Elton Brand represents everything that is right with the NBA. And with the world."), and Jones makes fun of Bill every chance he gets. They're very enjoyable.
Things started to hit me... yes, he's exaggerating. No, he doesn't really seem to bring great basketball insight. But yes, he's entertaining.
Then I came across a post from last March at Detroit Bad Boys that really just kinda summed up my feelings, without me even knowing it at the time. Here's part of the article:
For a long time, I was in the camp of the Bill Walton haters. I seethed every time I heard him laud praise upon Kazaam or fall at the feet of Kobe Bryant…I mean, Mamba. I chose to watch games on mute rather than hear his man-love for Coach Wooden seep into whichever game he was talking over. The incessant stammering coupled with the goofy, Deadhead persona made him unbearable. It seemed even his play-by-play partners were beside themselves at his stupidity.
But something happened along the way that caused me to reconsider my disdain for Big Red; I actually turned the volume up and listened to one of his games. And in doing so, I realized quickly that the joke was on me, that my naivete and/or blind-hate had kept me from appreciating Walton for what he is: a willing punchline. His hyperbole, his non-sequitors, his uncomfortable hetero-crushes–Walton is just playing along, throwing humorous tidbits against the wall to see which ones stick. Why else would someone say the following:
"You look at Vladimir Radmanovic, this guy is cut from stone. As if Michelangelo was reading and a lightning bolt flashed before him."
I mean, this just describes things absolutely perfectly. If you take him seriously, you won't like him. If you take him for what he is... a guy trying to lighten the mood and be entertaining, well, he's just that. Teamed with Steve "Snapper" Jones, and it's quite a treat.
Then I came across some other sites with Bill Walton Quotes... a brief sampling:
“Tracy McGrady is doing things we’ve never seen from anybody – from any planet!”
"Mick Jagger is in better shape than far too many NBA players. It's up in the air whether the same can be said of Keith Richards."
“John Stockton is one of the true marvels, not just of basketball, or in America, but in the history of Western Civilization!”
“Yao Ming is the best thing to happen to the NBA in a long time. He is just a beautiful person inside and out. The vision, the creativity, the gentleness of spirit … he has it all.”
"Show some respect to this living legend, this hall of famer...Arvydas Sabonis."
"Its a critical game, the battle for 10th place!"
I mean, this stuff is funny. Shame on me for not appreciating it sooner.
So that gave me an idea... there's not enough Bill Walton quotes out there on the internet. So I'm asking for your help... whenever you see an outrageous Bill Walton exaggeration, here's what you should do:
1) Post it here in the comments (I'll put a link to this post in the sidebars)
2) Email me the quote at uclabruins24 AT hotmail.com
3) Just post it in the comments of the most recent post... Bill Walton takes precedence.
And hey, if you post a quote, I'll give you some recognition and thanks... doesn't get better than that! So join me, in this, the Year of Bill Walton, as I hope to build the Ultimate Bill Walton Quote Library.
For more posts involving Bill Walton, look here.
58 comments:
I concur--you never know what is going to come out of Walton's mouth, and I've enjoyed many of his one-liners; One quote I'd like to find was his take on Shawn Bradley's physical condition--something about him looking like he is going to collapse at any moment.
"You know why the jump ball is great? The fate of the free world, every night is decided by the jump ball." - Bill Walton preceeding a Celtics 76ers ESPN game last season.
I think it was Bill Walton also who said during a broadcast "The only way Danny Schayes is getting into the hall of fame is if he pays the $5.99 admission fee"
Walton's got himself quite the crush on Boris Diaw. During a Suns game last year he busted out with this gem:
"When I think of Boris Diaw, I think of Beethoven in the age of the romantics."
About seven years ago, Eric Piatkowski was the sixth man for the Clippers and scored around 35 off the bench in the last two games combined. Piatkowski comes in and scores eight points on a jumper and a pair of threes in four possessions. Walton says, "If Eric Piatkowski continues playing at this level, he's going to replace Jerry West on the NBA logo."
Great stuff everyone, and much much thanks.
The first Danny Schayes comment really is a good barometer... if I would have heard that before, I would have thought something like, "What? Danny Schayes is horrible. Is Bill Walton on crack?" Now, I realize that Walton knows Schayes is horrible, and that's why the quote is funny. It's meant to be outlandish.
The Diaw and Piatkowski quotes are hilarious. Great stuff everyone.
From a Spurs playoff game a few years ago, after Tony Parker bounced a pass off Duncan's left shin:
"That was one of the worst passes I've ever seen, and certainly the worst pass in the history of the San Antonio Spurs."
During a Finals game a few years back Walton was lamenting the poor play of one of the teams and said, basically:
"What are they waiting for in order to start playing hard? Tomorrow's game? There's no tomorrow, there's no next week, there's no next year--there's only today! This is the NBA Finals!!"
About 3-4 years ago during a forgettable Houston Rockets game, Mobley threw up a couple of deep 3s, contested and very early into the shot clock. Not yet to the history-of-Western-Civilization level of hyperbole, Walton remarked, "Cuttino Mobley has just made the two worst shot attempts in the history of this proud Houston Rockets franchise."
Amazingly, on the next possession, it happened again! With the camera trained on the Rockets bench, Walton warmly adds, "The patience of a coach. Rudy T... that guy's going STRAIGHT to heaven!"
Years back when NBC was broadcasting basketball, Derek Fisher then of the Lakers got fouled and this was Walton's comment after he makes his first free throw:
"Derek Fisher makes the first. His parents did a great job raising him in Little Rock, Arkansas."
The timing of that quote was priceless.
In Luke Walton's rookie year he was rumored to be dating Britney Spears, before she was Federlined. So Bill was doing one of his son's games and they addressed it - his comment was:
"I told Luke, you're young, you're rich, and you're living in Beverly Hills. If you're not having the time of your life right now, I have failed you as a father."
Scottie Pippen... what a player.
Beautiful stuff guys... I really appreciate the quotes and hopefully we can get more as the season goes along. :)
Sabonis was a living a legend! :(
Some of my favourites:
I remember back in the 2001 playoffs when the Philadelphia 76ers made their run to the finals, Bill Walton commented on Dikembe Mutombo's phisical features
"look at the chizzled body of dikembe, not a bead of sweat visible on his forehead, he is the prototypical center for the future of the NBA that all other centres should be based on"
and also, during a Wizards game a few years back, Walton commented that "Jahidi White, that man is a montain disguised as a basketball player"
Along with all the other 'worst pass in the history of...' and so on, i loved the one when Francis blocked Mike James off the backboard and upon replay Walton claimed that "that was the absolute worst call of this millennia"
Also the way he says the classics such as:
"throw it down big man throw it down!!!"
"they are the laughing stock of the NBA"
Finally I love when any player who rarely contributes but works hard makes a few good plays and Walton compares them to NBA greats and asks questions why there arent starting, etc.
Probably hundreds of times:
"You got THAT out of a time out???
Yeeeeeeeeesh!"
That was always a surprise, when you came down real hard trying to hit a guy's arms, and all you got was the ball. Classic Pancake Block.
after Greg Ostertag of all people barely made a two handed dunk, walton exclaimed, "the offensive presence of greg ostertag is quite overwhelming sometimes!"
Nice. :)
Walton going way overboard when mediocre players do something good may be my favorite shtick of his.
Michael Jordan's last year in Washington, Walton was calling a Wizards game. Late in the 2nd quarter, the announcers were talking about Kwame Brown and how well or not-well Brown was playing, and about the roster in general and who should get playing time. And Juan Dixon hit jumpers on consecutive possessions and grabbed a steal.
Walton said: "Why doesn't THAT guy play more???"
I got 2 of them that I haven't seen yet, but are 2 of my favorites.
Ginobili was playing really well in a Spurs game once, had like 30+ points and Walton said, "Ginobili is so important to this team because of all the intangibles he provides, like offensive rebounds."
And another time Amare Stoudamire blew by some defender on another team for a dunk and Walton shouts, "Amare Stoudamire! Winner of the genetic lottery!"
After a pass bounced off Kobe's stomach by mistake and he eventually stole the ball..
"When you intercept the ball with your stomach, that is great defense" - Bill Walton
HA! That is great. :D
On ESPN Friday night Pacers vs. Heat, the crew was talking about big men.
Bill Walton brought up the fact that the NBA is changing and there are less big men than before.
Bill Walton had a theory for this new lack of big men.
"The reason the NBA has less big men than before is because ever since Shaq came into the league, he scared all of them away!"
A show on HBO just came out called The UCLA Destiny. It has a small segment on Bill Walton and he is interviewed later in the show too. They asked him his thoughts on John Wooden and he replied, " John Wooden is an intergalactic treasure!"
At another point in the show he was speaking about the Final Four Championship game his first year. He exclaimed, " The game was a youthful explosion of joyful enthusiasm!"
There were some other lines in there that I couldnt remember...Everyone should defintely check it out.
Nice to find this blog. I'll add a few.
Walton: That's not a foul
Snapper Jones: Looked like one to me Bill, and the ref too.
Walton: Come on, that was no foul! It may be a violation of all the basic rules of human decency, but its not a foul.
Alpert: Eric Snow dribbles down, and launches a three! (misses)
Walton: What is Eric Snow doing launching three pointers? Can someone tell me when the last time Eric Snow made a three pointer?
Alpert: Actually, last time down the court Bill....
Walton: Oh....can someone tell me why Eric Snow isn't getting more three point opportunties?
Walton came for a day to a SoCal basketball camp I was attending as a teenager. It was around his celtics time (he was a fabulous teacher by the way)
We were doing 3 on 1 fastbreak with Walton the lone defender swatting everything away. My friend threw up a crazy high arching prayer to avoid his block and it went in. Elated he laughed to us "I just *faced* Bill Walton!"
Walton: Ruiz! Expect Red Auerbach on the phone any minute!
Ruiz was my friend's name. In the camp one day, Walton remembered every single players name within about 2 hours. He had a phenomenal memory, perhaps the greatest memory in the history of western civilization.
Thanks for the comment Brian... that's some great stuff!
During a regular season Bulls game a couple years ago Walton made a comment on Chris Duhon saying "This is quite possibly the biggest game of Duhon's life". Then the other announcer said in a very monotone voice that Duhon was part of the Duke national championship team. Then followed by a few seconds of silence. It was priceless.
walton is the greatest...
(1) on nash: 'stevie nash is the best-conditioned athlete on the planet.' when his partner says 'even better than lance armstrong', walton responds 'possibly'
(2) a couple years ago, last game before the all-star break. during a timeout the camera pans the benches to show all of the allstars, who have been taken out of the game just before halftime. play resumes with the subs, and it's incredibly sloppy. walton says 'by the way, these guys are NOT on the all star team'
(3) a dallas gaurd drives coast-to-coast, unimpeded, through the entire lakers team for an easy layup. walton's take: 'oh, GREAT defense'
My buddy and I love love Bill. We watch the games just for him. Here are a couple of great Bill quotes.
From 2006 playoffs with the Snapper:
BILL: The Bulls have everything in place for a championship run...except taller guards and an dominant low post center.
SNAPPER: That doesn't sound like everything to me!
This one is from 2000 when he would still do the Clipper games. The Clips had just lost to the Nuggets after being up by 10 with 3 minutes to go:
BILL: The most disasterous loss in Clippers history.
Great stuff!
In early April of 2003, during a Nets/Kings game on ABC, both teams were flying up and down the court, trading baskets. Walton proclaims: "This is the greatest 5 minutes of basketball in the HISTORY of the game!"
On Shawn Bradley: "Shawn Bradley, you're 7 foot 6. SUCCESS IS A CHOICE!"
in a mavs game bill once said "dirk nowitzki"s shot is like a gazelle,flowing through the swiss alps"
i love bill walton im glad this website exists
When referring to Vince Carter...
"If you don't like Vince Carter, you're either depressed or a critic"
By the way Bill Walton is doing commentary for the FIBA games right now...Definitely a must see.
Anyways he was talking during the USA vs. Venezuela game the other night and made the following comment:
"Rasheed Wallace is a loose as any cannon on a ship."
Also, the other night he was on ESPN talking about Vick and Tim Donahue and made the following comment:
"40 years ago it was called the Summer of Love. Today, it is called the Summer of Madness!"
Gotta Love Bill!
Walton had some great quotes in the HBO Documentary about the UCLA Dynasty.
"By the time the games came along, they just became memorized exhibitions of brilliance."
"When that ball was put up, to decide the fate of Western Civilization, the game itself was a celebration of life. Such a joyful explosion of youthful enthusiasm just racing up and down this court celebrating the dream and the vision. A harmonic convergence of the highest order!"
Walton speaking in regards to Wilt Chamberlin: "If he played in today's age of ESPN, he'd have his own channel!"
Walton speaking in regards to Wilt Chamberlin: "If he played in today's age of ESPN, he'd have his own channel!"
Once during the Kings/Lakers big playoff a few years back he said,
"In order for the Kings to win, they must find a way to outscore the Lakers".
The FIBA America games that walton did a few months back were just priceless. I can't remember any of the exact words but he must have rambled on for at least 3 minutes straight this one time about nothing other than the geography of the rivers of argentina. I couldn't even pay attention to the game because his knowledge was so mesmorizing. If anyone has video of the FIBA Americas please post it.
How about this glorious response to a question about the Suns' performance with the return of Amare Stoudemire:
"Dana, from the valley of the sun I am perched high above the desert floor and the red streaks of the morning dawn are illuminating this glorious sky. I’m perusing Edward Abbey’s ‘Desert Solitude’ here and on opening day the songs are running through the smoking crater. I’ve been listening to Bob Dylan’s newest album Modern Times which is absolutely remarkable. ‘Thunder on the Mountain’, ‘Spirit on the Water’, ‘Rolling and Tumbling,’ which all go to describe Amare Stoudemire. But the songs that I can’t get out of my mind today John Fogarty’s ‘Center Field’: ‘Put me in coach, I’m ready to play today’ or Bob Dylan’s New Morning and Dana, like you, I’m just so happy to be alive underneath this sky of blue on this new morning, new morning, what could be better than opening day?"
during a pacers pistons playoff game a few years ago bill exclaimed during a particularly tense moment of the game " NOONE IN THE BUILDING IS SITTING DOWN RIGHT NOW" the camera immediately switches to a shot of joe dumars sitting down walton then says " EXCEPT JOE DUMARS"
during a lakers game one time walton said something like
"the los angeles lakers offense is flowing like a river in the northeast during springtime"
god bless bill walton
A few years back, when Jeff McGinnis was on the Cavs,he made an errant pass or something and Walton started to tear into him. McGinnis did something else wrong and Walton made another comment about how Jeff McGinnis was the other team's best player. Then he made another mistake and the Cavs called a timeout and Walton said, "Here's a novel idea: Take Jeff McGinnis OUT of the game!" It was fucking hilarious.
Let's also remember that Bill is known for his outrageous social commentary back in his protest days..
“When a Black man kills a White man, in America, it should
be ruled justifiable homicide.” —Bill Walton
www.ThornePeters.com
i cant really add anything that hasnt been said, but i remember one time we were in the same airport bus shuttle. he was talking to a person he met on the way and it seemed like he's a genuinely amiable guy. it just makes me wonder if he incorporates his outlandish statements in daily conversations.
I hope I am not alone in saying that it is great to see Bill Walton healing up and getting back to form. Walton NEEDS to be at these Finals and giving us more announcing gems like he did for so long.
Check out this list of All-Time greatest Bill Walton quotes and be reminded why he is one of the classics:
http://www.themoviemind.com/2008/06/05/best-bill-%e2%80%9cw
alton-isms%e2%80%9d-of-all-time/
I saw an interview with Bill today and the subject was the laker/celtic series and he said: "The boston celtic home court advantage is one of he most powerful forces in the universe." I couldn't stop laughing
My Favorite Bill Walton quote was in Luke Walton's first NBA game. As Luke stepped on the court for the first time, "Who spawned that fine young fellow? It seems like his incredible physique should suit the NBA very well."
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thanks for posting. In general I find sports most enjoyable with the announcers muted for the most part. less is more.
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