Bill Walton on Boris Diaw

This clip is a little old, but still fantastically awesome.



"When I think of Boris Diaw, I think of Beethoven in the Age of the Romantics."

Frank Caliendo on Inside the NBA

I'm not sure when exactly this was aired, but it's comedian/impersonator Frank Caliendo when he appeared on Inside the NBA with Ernie Johnson, Kenny Smith, and Charles Barkley.

It's worth a listen if only for the amazing impersonations of Sir Charles and Bill Walton. Good stuff.

A Bill Walton Podcast

Bill Walton Podcast

Seriously, this is the craziest thing I have ever listened to. If Bill Walton is not on acid, then I have no idea how he comes up with this stuff. He jumps around from topic to topic saying ridiculous things, and really, that's what we like about him. This podcast deals with a Brazilian named Daniela's internet sex video, the NY Knicks, the Grateful Dead, crossword puzzle contests, Larry Bird, and pretty much everything in between.

So have a listen and tell me what you think... in case you don't want to listen to it all, here's some of the prime quotes:

"Whenever I get to watch the Wizards and can finally get Daniela off the screen, I can't get over how well Brendan Haywood is playing. I actually saw Brendan Haywood try to run up-and-down the court faster than his opponent the other night. Now THERE'S a novel concept."

"But the real surprise to me in New York is that despite endless research and digging on my part, I have yet to come up with any evidence whatsoever that Isiah Thomas had anything to do with the Home Depot's Bob Nardelli's severance package of $210 million. Now that sure seemed to be to have all the trappings of an Isiah Thomas deal. Unbelievable money for nothing."

"During the recent holidays we had a nice little break, and being the competitive fiend that I am, I entered an International Crossword Puzzle Contest. I was on fire, as hot as I've ever been in anything! So here I was, rolling on forever to yet another title, when I get stomped on, 'What is a 10-letter word for surge?' I was so ashamed when I couldn't come up with escalation."

And don't forget to check out/add to the Bill Walton Quote Library, for which I am gather quotes to post at the end of the season. Also check out my synopsis of a Bill Walton Chat, as well as one of the best Bill Walton quotes ever.

[Special thanks to Doug LeMoine for initially linking to the podcast which is how I found it]

Bill Walton has outdone himself

I didn't hear this firsthand, but was told by someone else that Bill Walton made this comment during the Spurs game:

"Yesterday we celebrated Sir Isaac Newton's discovery of gravity, today, Fabricio Oberto is defying it."

Bwahahaha!!

Just remember, if you have any good Bill Walton quotes, you can post them in the comments section of my previous Bill Walton post, or just post them in the comments on this post. We're trying to build a Bill Walton Quote Library here!!

Bill Walton Chats

I have to admit, I'm a big fan of the chats at ESPN. Typically they cover a lot more topics and so there's a better likelihood that they'll talk about things I'll find interesting. However, I saw that there was going to be a chat with Bill Walton, which was something I had never seen before, and so I figured it would be a little different and strange.

Generally the chatter answer lots of questions and give short answers... not Bill Walton. He took 7 questions and gave very long responses. I find Bill very funny in person because of his great exaggerations and hyperbole, but I wasn't sure how it would translate to writing... but I found it funny.

So here are some of the parts I found funny... if you think it sounds like the writing of a guy tripping on acid... well, you're not alone.

"Joe Crawford has stepped into the center circle, hopefully he won't be ejecting any willing participants in today's ceremony. The ball is in the air, the two hands going ever higher. The fate of the known world is in the balance. I'm ready to play...Thanks for putting me in coach. Let's go!"

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[talking about the Phoenix Suns]"...and my favorite coach in the NBA (he shouldn't be wasting his time with basketball, he should be president) it's all there for Phoenix. The've capitalized brilliantly on their favorable schedule (a lot of home games against the Sisters of the Poor). But now they head East, for their first of what promises to be many momements of Truth."

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"We're really excited Ben about your Bulls impressive 5 game win streak! And if you can continue to play the Knicks, Boston, and any other memebers of the Atlantic Division (Philly tonight ESPN at 9 ET) we're sure that there is nothing that will stop your mighty Bulls from shattering the Lakers 33 game win streak."

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"And we can only hope that Shaq is able to return as quickly as possible. We're well aware of how hard he worked all summer to come back in tip-top shape to defend his fourth championship."

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"Artis Gilmore gave me more trouble than anyone else, but that was because he had no comprehension that double dribbling, three seconds, offensive fouls, and travelling were not only against the rules of basketball, but against the rules of human decency."

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"When I joined the NBA in 1974, I became the highest paid player in the history of all team sports (for about as much money as today's minimum salary). My agent was so excited he was raving about all the money, and how it was going to change my entire life. And I looked at him and said, "I don't care about any of this. After four years with John Wooden the only thing that I was concerned about was that I didn't want anyone to tell me when to get a haircut and when to shave or whether or not I could wear a headband." And I was a rookie Ben! I knew enough at that point to get it in writing!"

Bill Walton everybody! One crazy SOB.

And remember, you hear a good Bill Walton quote, let me know as I am compiling my Bill Walton Quote Library!

The Ultimate Bill Walton Quote Library

For more posts involving Bill Walton, look here.

Let me start with some background. At one time, I really liked Bill Walton. As I listened to him more and more, I began to dislike him very strongly as an announcer. However, my perspective has slowly begun to change again.

It all started when I was searching and came across a post from last year's playoffs where I mentioned Bill Walton:

While we're on the subject of announcers, I must admit I'm not a big fan of Bill Walton if he's in a 2-man team. However, the trio of Mike Tirico, Bill Walton, and Steve "Snapper" Jones is very enjoyable. Tirico is one of the best in the business at play-by-play, Walton throws in his great exaggerations, which are actually rather amusing ("Elton Brand represents everything that is right with the NBA. And with the world."), and Jones makes fun of Bill every chance he gets. They're very enjoyable.

Things started to hit me... yes, he's exaggerating. No, he doesn't really seem to bring great basketball insight. But yes, he's entertaining.

Then I came across a post from last March at Detroit Bad Boys that really just kinda summed up my feelings, without me even knowing it at the time. Here's part of the article:

For a long time, I was in the camp of the Bill Walton haters. I seethed every time I heard him laud praise upon Kazaam or fall at the feet of Kobe Bryant…I mean, Mamba. I chose to watch games on mute rather than hear his man-love for Coach Wooden seep into whichever game he was talking over. The incessant stammering coupled with the goofy, Deadhead persona made him unbearable. It seemed even his play-by-play partners were beside themselves at his stupidity.

But something happened along the way that caused me to reconsider my disdain for Big Red; I actually turned the volume up and listened to one of his games. And in doing so, I realized quickly that the joke was on me, that my naivete and/or blind-hate had kept me from appreciating Walton for what he is: a willing punchline. His hyperbole, his non-sequitors, his uncomfortable hetero-crushes–Walton is just playing along, throwing humorous tidbits against the wall to see which ones stick. Why else would someone say the following:

"You look at Vladimir Radmanovic, this guy is cut from stone. As if Michelangelo was reading and a lightning bolt flashed before him."

I mean, this just describes things absolutely perfectly. If you take him seriously, you won't like him. If you take him for what he is... a guy trying to lighten the mood and be entertaining, well, he's just that. Teamed with Steve "Snapper" Jones, and it's quite a treat.

Then I came across some other sites with Bill Walton Quotes... a brief sampling:

“Tracy McGrady is doing things we’ve never seen from anybody – from any planet!”

"Mick Jagger is in better shape than far too many NBA players. It's up in the air whether the same can be said of Keith Richards."

“John Stockton is one of the true marvels, not just of basketball, or in America, but in the history of Western Civilization!”

“Yao Ming is the best thing to happen to the NBA in a long time. He is just a beautiful person inside and out. The vision, the creativity, the gentleness of spirit … he has it all.”

"Show some respect to this living legend, this hall of famer...Arvydas Sabonis."

"Its a critical game, the battle for 10th place!"

I mean, this stuff is funny. Shame on me for not appreciating it sooner.

So that gave me an idea... there's not enough Bill Walton quotes out there on the internet. So I'm asking for your help... whenever you see an outrageous Bill Walton exaggeration, here's what you should do:

1) Post it here in the comments (I'll put a link to this post in the sidebars)
2) Email me the quote at uclabruins24 AT hotmail.com
3) Just post it in the comments of the most recent post... Bill Walton takes precedence.

And hey, if you post a quote, I'll give you some recognition and thanks... doesn't get better than that! So join me, in this, the Year of Bill Walton, as I hope to build the Ultimate Bill Walton Quote Library.

For more posts involving Bill Walton, look here.

NBA Playoffs - Two Game 3's

Two solid game 3s on Friday night, both were fairly entertaining and well-played. My observations from each:

Heat over Nets 103-92

• The NBA scheduling sucks. The teams that played Tuesday don't play again until Saturday, and the teams that played Wednesday played again Friday. I guess I don't get it. I understand it's for the TV, but it still doesn't make much sense to me.
  


• While the reffing with regards to Shaquille O'Neal has been inconsistent (to be kind), you can't overlook the job Jason Collins is doing this series. He's going up against Shaq 1-on-1, and he's always in good position, has drawn charges on Shaq and other Heat players (from good help defense), and has kept Shaq in check. He provides nothing offensively, but he is very, very solid defensively.


• Hubie Brown is very old, but he is still very good as the color man. He knows the game exceptionally well, he's pretty clear, and can even crack a joke now and then. Granted, there has never been a bad call, because he seems to agree with absolutely every call the refs make, but that's just a small notch against a fine commentator.


• There's just no way to say this in a good way, but the Nets half-court offense sucks. It sucks badly. Basically, if they don't get anything in transition, they give it to Carter, and then either have a high pick & roll, or they isolate Carter. Eventually, the defense catches on.


• It seems to me that whenever things are going against the Nets, Vince Carter starts to settle for fadeaway jumpers and stops taking the ball to the hoop. I know there's been the knock that he's soft (which I pretty much agree with), but it more seems that when things are going against the team he gets frustrated and starts settling for fadeaways, and things go from bad to worse. Now, he can make those shots, and does on occasion, but it hurts the Nets long-term.
  


• Coming in, I expected to see a useless Gary Payton, but he's still a decent player. Well, he has no outside jumpshot, and his on the ball defense in pretty poor, but he still handles the ball, distributes it, doesn't try to do too much, and is a solid help defender.


• Heat lead the series 2-1. I would presume that Game 4 is Sunday, but then again, it's probably not smart to presume anything when it comes to NBA scheduling.

Suns over Clippers 94-91

• Let's just get this out of the way. As good as Tim Thomas has been this postseason, any team that signs him to a big deal is stupid. He's in the perfect spot right now, and he's trying hard since it's the playoffs. He's still a finesse player, doesn't always give best effort (let's be honest, there's a reason the Bulls were willing to pay him to just sit at home). He fits here in Phoenix, but as soon as he goes somewhere else, I expect we'll see more of what we've seen throughout his career. Same goes for Bonzi Wells.


• One other non-game related thought: At some point, I turned it over to ESPN 2 during the commercial break, and unfortunately Quite Frankly with Stephen A Smith was on. And Smith was interviewing a couple of guys that do Jiu-Jitsu. Uh yeah, let's just say that show is awful.


• While we're on the subject of announcers, I must admit I'm not a big fan of Bill Walton if he's in a 2-man team. However, the trio of Mike Tirico, Bill Walton, and Steve "Snapper" Jones is very enjoyable. Tirico is one of the best in the business at play-by-play, Walton throws in his great exaggerations, which are actually rather amusing ("Elton Brand represents everything that is right with the NBA. And with the world."), and Jones makes fun of Bill every chance he gets. They're very enjoyable.


• The Suns are not normally a very good defensive team, but they were solid in Game 3 because they were active. They contested shots, they were active in the passing lanes, and asa a result, the Clippers only got 91 points.


• At one point in the 4th quarter, Vlad Radmanovic had scored 14 straight points for the Clippers. If you predicted that beforehand, come with me, you're picking out my numbers for a lottery ticket.


• Interesting move by Mike Dunleavy to play Shaun Livingston over Sam Cassell for much of the 4th quarter. I'm not crazy about the move, but I can see some logic. Livingston was controlling the game, and plus he is a bad matchup for Nash. Livingston is too big and quick for Nash, which he showed a couple of times late. This is obvious, but as long as Livingston stays healthy he'll be like superstar good. Another interesting thought about this decision - maybe Dunleavy is trying to prepare for next year? After all, Cassell is a FA. Food for thought.


• On a day when the Suns could not get into their offense (7/27 from beyond the arc), and when the "MVP" Steve Nash really struggledwith his shot, they still pull out the 94-91 victory to take the 2-1 series lead. Very nice job by the Suns, and great game for Shawn Marion, who finished with 32 points and 19 rebounds.

On Saturday the Pistons/Cavs have the early game, and then Mavericks play the Spurs as 7 Central on ABC. Hopefully we'll see a continuation of Friday night.

This, quite frankly, is extremely amusing.

Found this site on Deadspin earlier today, and it's so funny I have to share.

The site is Scamboogah, and he's posted some "photos" of NBA families that were photoshopped by some guy named Thumbboy. What he's done is photoshopped an NBA player's head onto the body of each person in some type of family photo, such as the "Bill Walton Kids" and the results are really, really funny.

I'll let you see for yourself. Scamboogah.