Monday, April 09, 2007

Kenny Mayne

These days, I generally try to avoid ESPN as much as possible (Sportscenter included), because most of their programming isn't that good. So while I knew Kenny Mayne was back on Sportscenter, I hadn't really seen him on it yet.

But a couple of nights ago I watched part of Sportscenter with him on it, and it reminded me so much about why Kenny Mayne is my favorite thing about ESPN. The guy is hilarious.

Here is a sampling of a mere 20 minutes of Sportscenter that I watched:

- "Maicer Izturis, no relation to Al Newman."
- "Barry Bonds with homerun #735. Not this season, that would be a record."
- "He hit that ball over some fencing they put up in the outfield prior to the game."
- "He was traded for a player to be named later. Right now no one knows his name, they just say 'What's up big guy?'"

Again, this was in like 20 minutes, and I was laughing my head off.
*Note: It was like 1:45 in the morning when I started watching.
*Note 2: Then again, it is like 1:00 in the morning as I type this.

So if having Kenny Mayne back on Sportscenter was all a cunning ruse just to get me to watch again, well, it may work. He's the best.

Other Mayne quotes from throughout the years (many from The Sportscenter Altar):

- "I am amused by the simplicity of this game."
- "Tell 'em what they've won...it's an American League baseball game."
- "We're gonna show it again, cause we have editing equipment."
- "But we all know that games aren't played on paper...they are played by little men inside our TV sets." (this could be the best ever)
- "Jeff Gordon takes the checkered flag, and he'll have to give it back for the next race."
- "Now on to tackle football news..." (Note: I just like the shtick where he calls it 'tackle football' or 'ice hockey')
- "We show you this to see how women 18-34 feel about the play."
- "Portions of this game were taped for training purposes..."
- "He scored [number] off the bench. Had he been on the bench, he'd have been out of bounds."
- "That's his first homerun. The media pressure will be intense for his second."
- "He makes the restaurant-quality play."
- "[Football player] has decided to tackle people on behalf of the [NFL team]. Terms of the contract are not disclosed, but we believe it has something to do with money."

Thoughts? Do you like Mayne as much as I do?

14 comments:

Signal to Noise said...

Yes, and I know why -- it's the deadpan and the unexpected shouting.

Like: "I AM THE GREATEST HITTER IN ALL THE LAND! LET THERE BE AN ABUNDANT FEAST, WITH YOUR FINEST SELECTION OF MEATS AND CHEESES!" after a home run.

Or, like Sunday night on the Islanders win: "The players were all GAY!" (even though we know he meant gay as in "happy", it was still funny.)

grittysquirrels said...

I love kenny mayne. I'm really glad that they brought him back on for SC. Even just reading those quotes make me laugh out loud.

Big Al said...

Count me as a fan. I miss the days when I would laugh my way thru SC. Mayne is one of the few SC anchors left who doesn't take himself seriously.

Sanchez said...

I do now! Some of those archived quotes are pure genius.

"Portions of this game were taped for training purposes..."

Superb.

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

dan patrick and keith olberman had something special when sportscenter used to be watchable.

Mini Me said...

Agreed Zach. Their radio show isn't that bad but not nearly as great as sportscenter used to be.

Run Up The Score! said...

Absolutely on Kenny Mayne. The guy is brilliant.

Anonymous said...

you seriously need to go to
www.kennymayneiswritingabook.com

kenny's taking on harry potter

Chus said...

This is what I think: Kenny Mayne

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